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By C. Jake Williams. April 8, 2008
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Not every relationship is meant to succeed, but too many that should become deceased.
I don't want that to happen to me, so I'm proposing two simple rules for my own co-ed adventures. Call them my two relationship rules.
The first rule sounds at first like it was concocted to doom any chance for success but I hope to persuade You otherwise. Be Selfish, I say.
Think about it. A common theme for many unhappy and overdo-for-an-overhaul couples is how one of the parties feels they can't please the other person. It's not Your job, I think, to make Your mate happy. It's Your job to find another person that makes You happy. Be Selfish.
And if by chance You being You makes that other person happy as well, then by George (not Bush) You've some potential on Your hands. There's something to fight for in that scenario, something to look forward to, wake up to.
Plus, You shouldn't suffer later because one person quits trying, as is another common theme in this age. Why would they quit trying? You being You makes them happy and them being them makes You happy. There's no extra effort being put forth to be stopped.
That chemistry should either always or never be there.
That relationship should either eternally succeed or immediately fail.
We've already solved so many potential problems and all You had to do was look out for Number One.
Rule number two is so obvious yet still is not being adequately practiced. Communicate, I say.
Why would You let public toe-nail clipping seethe inside You? Just let me know (to the appropriate level of emphasis) that it's disgusting and embarrassing and scene-causing and intimacy-killing, and hopefully I'll stop.
If after communicating the problem remains, maybe it's not meant to be. I'm not saying public toe-nail clipping is worthy of killing a couple's chances, but I wouldn't dream of asserting the contrary. For some, it might be.
So communicate that fact, I say.
Using my two relationship rules likely won't salvage a doomed duo. In all likelihood it will speed up the breakup process, actually.
Not using my two relationship rules might doom a salvageable syndication of souls, though, and that's really what we're trying to emphasize and avoid.
Find out quickly if there is something worth fighting for.
If yes, we can progress.
If no, accept so.
Not every relationship is meant to succeed, but too many that should become deceased.
You were there.